For the past week the hymn "It is well with my soul" has been running through my mind. I remember hearing an incredible story awhile back about this hymn but the details were fuzzy so I looked it up. Perhaps that was God's providence because I have also been pondering the concept of identity a lot lately and as it turns out the two are very connected. Let me explain.

The hymn "It is well with my soul" was written by a man named Horatio Spafford. In 1871 Spafford's wife and four daughters were on a ship headed from the US to Europe that collided with another vessel and sunk. By the grace of God his wife, Anna, survived the shipwreck but their four daughters did not survive. After the loss of his four daughters Spafford, who loved Jesus, wrote this hymn praising God.

Here are the Lyrics:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
* Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

So here's where identity comes into play. I am sure Mr. Spafford was devastated by the loss of his four precious babies, I cannot even imagine that pain, but even so he was able to say that God is good and that Jesus is Lord. In the midst of his pain he was able to write a beautiful song praising Jesus and proclaiming that it was well with his soul because Jesus was bigger and more important than anything else in his life. His identity, ultimately, was in Jesus and not in his daughters, his wife or any other created thing. Amazing.

Today when I got to church the first song we sang was "It is well with my soul" and the sermon was incredible and all about our identity in Christ and the glory of God. Amazing, I love how the Lord weaves our lives together day by day.

With all of this said I've been thinking about my own identity lately and what that means. In my life I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a home builder; I have been a worker, a student and so many other things but none of these things can be who I am. If I claim any one of these things as my identity, put all of my hope in one, I will ultimately be let down. None of these things can truly fulfill me because they are not God.

If Spafford had put all of his hope in his children he never would have written this hymn. If he had made his life about being their father and invested all of his hope and joy in them and their future then his world would have ended when their lives did. He probably would have grown bitter and angry and perhaps taken his own life as a result of their loss, but he didn't. He didn't because his identity was in the only thing that cannot and will not fail you, ever, Jesus.

So even though I am a mother and a wife and it would be so easy for me to put my hope in Ryan or my babies, to make my world all about them, I can't. Ryan has in the past and will continue to, let me down at times (as I have, and will him) and the same goes for my children. God is the only one who will never leave me or forsake me because I have put my hope in Jesus, his son who died for my sins and rose from death because he is God.

I can't claim that I will live a perfect life, in fact I can guarantee that I will not, but I can say that my hope is in Jesus. I pray that I do not have to endure the tragedy that Spafford endured but I also pray that no matter the trials I face I will always be able to say that God is good, Jesus is my savior and it is well with my soul.