I just spoke with my Mom and found out that the Indian government has approved my parent's adoption of little Varsha (soon-to-be Rachel). Wooohhooooo!

Normally when I get one of those "get to know you" emails where you are supposed to fill in the blanks on a number of questions I just ditch them because I don't have time (or I'm lazy) but not today. Today my meeting was cancelled because of STORM WATCH 2008 and the boy is playing joyfully on the floor so here goes, this is for you Jessi.

8 TV Shows I Watch:
1) House
2) The Office
3) 30 Rock
4) Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations (He's so crabby and probably an alcoholic but I still love watching him travel to far off places and eat and drink with the locals.)
5) Psych!
6) Iron Chef America
7) Top Chef
8) Ace of Cakes

8 Favorite Restaurants: I'm also adding what I get at these restaurants because I love food.
1) JAK's (steak medium rare, 1/2 potato cakes 1/2 mashed potato side, salad with blue cheese dressing and a nice big glass of red wine-but not merlot, I hate merlot.)
2) Nordstrom Cafe (Pear and blue cheese salad with champagne vinaigrette.....I dream about you.)
3) The Oceanaire Seafood Room (shrimp, crab and brie cheese stuffed sole)
4) Peninsula Creamery in Palo Alto (Rocky road and peppermint ice cream milkshake, grilled cheese sandwich and fries...lots of ketchup)
5) Tacos Guaymos (2 tacos al pastor and 1 veggie taco and a corona with a lime please)
6) Thaiger Room (Basil chicken, one star)
7) Bing's (Whole wheat french toast-breakfast, Turkey burger with caramelized onions and cole slaw-lunch and cream of tomato basil soup if they've got any)
8) Whole Foods (grilled rustica sandwich with caramelized onions added)


8 Things that Happened to Me Today:(today hasn't been that interesting so far, sorry)
1) Drove all the way to Mercer Island for a meeting that had been cancelled.
2) Didn't check my voicemail before leaving the house. If I had I would have known that the meeting was cancelled, doh!
3) Snuggled with my husband at 5:45am after putting the baby back to bed.
4) Got a call from my mom and watched James' face light up when she talked to him.
5) Got hungry writing the list above.
6) Had to actually wake James up at 8:00am to get in the car to go to the meeting that didn't happen.
7) Used the last bit of my peppermint mocha creamer in my coffee and actually felt a little panicked because I might not be able to get to the store today or the rest of the week.
8) Read Jessi's blog, was challenged to write this list and decided to do it.


8 Things I Look Forward To:
1) Telling people about Jesus!
2) This Christmas because Ryan will be home for almost a whole week!
3) Snow on Christmas morning in Wenatchee.
4) Spending time this Christmas with the Singletary family....especially Meghann who we rarely get to see.
5) Watching our children grow in faith and ultimately give their lives to Jesus. (I say children because I hope there will be more....nope not pregnant folks.)
6) Growing old with Ryan.
7) Living in heaven without satan, sin and death.
8) Seeing Jesus face.


8 Things I Wish For:
1) That everyone I know would give their lives to Jesus, ask for forgiveness of their sins and be reconciled to the Father....and then come talk to me about it!
2) That Ryan and I would always be faithful to the Lord.
3) For my parents to be able to go to India and pick up their daughter soon.
4) To not be afraid of the ocean...yep I'm afraid of the ocean.
5) To know what I'm gifted at.
6) To have more time to read.
7) For it to snow like crazy tonight so Ryan has to work from home tomorrow.
8) A Dyson vacuum cleaner.

Now I challenge all of you who have blogs to do this too (Mary, Nathan, Emily, Megan!!!!!!).

....so I can buy it!

Recently I went to Value Village (Goodwill equivalent) on the lookout for cold weather baby clothes when I discovered a treasure trove of other fine goods. Furniture, toys, sunglasses (Which I needed since I just broke mine and I go into convulsions in the car if I don't have sunglasses on even the mildest of sunny days.), clothes, dishes...pretty much anything you can think of.

I walked away having spent about $6 and I got a fun toy for James and a new pair of sunglasses for me, woohoo! I didn't get any baby clothes but only because Mr. Man was starting to have a meltdown and I decided it would be best not to torture the little guy.

Moral of the story, I think I will be going back for more second hand goods in the future.

It's now December 11th and our house doesn't have one Christmas decoration. No not one.

I was thinking about this today and suddenly my heart began to hurt, mostly for James. I am good at a lot of things but one of them is not spending money on anything that we don't "need", and Christmas decorations have unfortunately fallen into this category. I joke with Ryan that I was brought up in the depression era because I am so tight with my spending, which is generally good, but at times like this I see the darker side of this trait.

When I was growing up my Mom always made the house feel homey and full of Christmas, no matter our financial situation. Today my sweet sister is so much like Mom so her house feels warm and cozy. When I look around our home however, it feels a bit cold and empty.

So I feel like I need a little Christmas and I need it now! I want my kids to grow up like I did, in a home full of Christmas and love. With this said I have a challenge for any of you who might be reading this. Let me know of any traditions or ways that you decorate to make the season feel like Christmas to you and your family. Every year I bake cookies for the neighbors, which is something that our kids will one day do with me, but I need some ideas for the home. Please help!

We have been getting a lot of calls from telemarketers lately and they have been driving me nuts! I don't really love talking on the phone to begin with so the idea of talking on the phone with a complete stranger and being sold something really doesn't appeal. I've added our number to the do not call list and I've told telemarketers to take us off their list but somehow they always get through.

In recent months I have employed a number of tactics when answering these calls including hanging up, putting them on mute and not hanging up, saying "no thank you" and hanging up and my personal favorite and one I learned from Ryan's grandma, putting the phone on the counter and walking away until they hang up.

Well now I have a new tactic I learned from my mom that makes me feel a little silly but I think is a lot nicer and loving than all of the above. From here on out when I answer a call and I know it is a telemarketer I am going to be super nice to Sally, or Ted or whoever I am talking to and I tell them this:

"Your know what, I am really not interested in your Ginsu Knives (or whatever they are selling) but I want to tell you that Jesus loves you and he died for you."

I figure either they'll want to know more and I can talk to them about Jesus, my absolute favorite subject, or they'll think I am a loon and hang up. Both outcomes would be awesome.

So if you love Jesus and you want to spread the Gospel you should give it a try.

If you don't have time to wash your hair in the morning but you know you'll be a grease ball by afternoon if you don't them turn your head upside down, sprinkle baby powder in your hair and work it in with your fingers. Not quite as good as a shower but it keeps you a little less greasy for a day.

I just read this on a blog that my Mom sent me and I thought it pretty much summed me up:

"I'm a work in progress, utterly reliant upon God. I'm easy-going, until I freak out. Organized, until I lose something. Laid back, until someone hurts the ones I love."

Here's a link to the blog if you're interested. From the small bit that I have read the woman who writes it appears to be a Christian lady who has 12 kids (four biological, eight adopted, and all beautiful).

I was reading this morning in Proverbs and this verse stuck out:

Proverbs 13:20

"Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
but the companions of fools will suffer harm."

Who do you spend time with? Are you walking with the wise or becoming a fool?

On the outside I look like a perfectly normal woman in her twenties but underneath I am really quite an oddball. Here are a few examples of my quirks and what makes me....special.

1) I have more than twenty nutcrackers that my Mom has given me over the years (and I love) BUT I hate the Nutcracker ballet. I hate the music, the set design and especially the story line. Just the thought of this ballet annoys me and yet, I like going to any other ballet. Weird, I know.

2) I have issues with what I call re-breathing. For instance, say it is a super cold day and you are wearing a heavy scarf around your neck. Any normal person would pull the scarf up over their nose and just expose their eyes to the cold. Not me, I can't deal with the feeling of breathing warm air that I have already breathed.

Let's not even talk about the fact that the warm air in question has already been sucked of nearly all its actual oxygen and is now just carbons monoxide (dioxide? not sure) but instead focus in on that icky clammy feeling that you get with warm air all around your mouth, yuck!

This rule also applies to other people's used air. For example, if Ryan and I are cuddling on the couch and he breaths near my mouth I have to move my head for fear that I might breath his re-breathed air....I told you I was strange.

3) I like the smell of skunks and I don't like the smell of lavender or vanilla.

4) I like the heel of the bread more than the rest of the slices. I will sometimes take two heel pieces and toast them both to make the best, and crunchiest, peanut butter toast EVER!

5)I hate ER....the show. I think it has been on TV for way too long and I am sick of seeing commercials claiming that this weeks episode is the most intense episode in ER history. Usually when I see a commercial for ER I will actually say outloud "Stupid ER."

6) I don't listen to "good" music. I never jumped on the rap train when it was popular (see I don't even know if rap is cool anymore) and usually I am clueless when someone is talking about a new song. Truth be told, I listen to country music, worship music and classical....that's pretty much it.

7) In the same vein of #6, I love Dolly Parton and if I could see anyone in concert it would probably be her.

8) It annoys me when other people refer to soda as pop....which is what most people in Washington call soda. This is not a judgement of other people, I realize that this is my problem but it still kinda drives me nuts.

9) I drive too fast when I'm happy and too slow (under the speed limit) when I'm in deep thought.

10) It makes me crazy when people walk their dogs without a leash. I don't care if you think your dog is well trained and will not eat me, just put your dog on a leash!

11) Birds creep me out.

12) I won't order a hot chocolate if it's made with Hershy's syrup. Hershy's syrup is not chocolate, it's brown sticky sugar.

Ok that's all I can think of, do you have any funny quirks?

I have this shirt that Ryan loves. I've had it for years now, in fact I can't remember when I bought it but I think it might be one of his favorites of mine. The shirt is white, long sleeved with a few buttons at the neck and it has a waffle weave texture to it. It's not flashy, low cut or anything special but every time I wear it he notices and doesn't fail to tell me how much he loves it on my body.

The shirt that Ryan loves is a little smaller than it used to be, or perhaps I'm a little bigger, but still every time I wear it he comments on how cute he thinks I am. Today I was reading Genesis 2:18 and I thought of this shirt.

Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him."

I am Ryan's helper, his wife, his partner. Sometimes being his helper means making dinner and cleaning the house, sometimes it's being honest with him about my sin and struggles, sometimes it's praying for him when he's having a rough time but sometimes it's putting on a shirt that he loves.

God knew that it was not good for Ryan to be alone so he made Ryan and I one, two equal pieces with different purposes making a whole with Jesus as our center. I love my husband and that I am called to be his helper so today, before he came home, I went upstairs, took off my drool and baby puke covered turtleneck, and changed into the white waffle weave shirt.

I am Ryan's helper and today that means him coming home to a wife wearing the shirt that he loves.

Today my boss told me that he thinks of me as more of a "dude" than a woman because I am "so practical". Not sure if I should be offended.

Mary Grace, your name means bitter but I see non of that in you.

For a time we didn't get along, even though we came from the same womb and born just two years apart. Thankfully that time has passed and your little sister has wised up and been humbled by your beauty.

Pictures of you flash in my head when I think of the life you lead today. Images of motherhood, so tender and kind but also stern and discerning, shaping your young ones to love the Lord with all their heart. Unknowingly shaping me as well, teaching me to be the kind of mother our Lord has made you to be.

I see a beautiful wife who greets her husband with a smile and a kiss. I see a friend who watches mountains of children at a time so others can run errands or go to doctor's appointments without their babes in tow. I see a sister who has taught me more than she knows about love and joy and Jesus. I see a child of God who yearns to learn and grow in His love. Most of all I see Jesus. In your actions, in the way that you speak and unselfishly give of yourself, and in how you desperately want the world to know Him.

Thank you Mary Grace for being my sister, I love you and I am in awe of what He is doing in and through you.

Lately I feel like the Lord is teaching me patience, which funny enough is one of the things that I have been praying for. (Praise the Lord for answering prayer.) I always forget however that in order to learn a lesson you often times have to go through a trial. Well that is what I'm going through right now, a trial.

I had intended on continuing this blog entry with a long explanation of what is going in my head and in my heart but honestly I am just too tired and a little reluctant. So instead I'll humbly ask for prayer from anyone who is reading this and leave you with a verse that the Lord brought to me last night.

"If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31b

I have been reading Ecclesiastes this past week and a specific verse caught my attention and has been on my mind ever since.

"Better is the end of a thing than its beginning." Ecclesiastes 5:17

When I read this verse it made me think of my life as a child of God, as a wife and then as a mother. I think about how I've started out in each of these areas and how I've grown and changed since I began. In the beginning of motherhood I was clumsy, stressed and uncertain. Of course I loved my boy, but I hadn't been a mommy before so I had to learn on the job. Today, seven months in and with a lot of prayer and help from Jesus, I'm a better mommy then when I began, more patient and skilled, not perfect, but further down the path.

As a wife as well I am better today than when we first said "I do". I was excited and fearless at the start, full of love and ideas of how a perfect marriage should be, but then reality hit and I was forced to face my sin and my selfishness. I've changed along the way and had to apologize A LOT, but by the grace of God I've also discovered a stronger, more pure love for my husband and become a better wife. I'm deeply in love with Ryan, more than before, but I've still got a lot to learn and a long, hard, beautiful journey ahead.

Similarly, when I gave my life to Jesus I was full of passion for his gospel but I was terribly immature and not always a great reflection of Christ to those around me. But that was just the beginning, His work in me had just been born. Today I am different, not perfect, still requiring a lot of refining and chipping away, but I'm closer to the Lord and a little closer to who he wants me to be.

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

So the verse in Ecclesiastes gives me hope and comfort for the future. I am not the best wife or mother or child of God right now but "better is the end of a thing than its beginning" so I'm looking forward to the end....which will really just be another beginning.

Ok I want to preface this post by stating very clearly that I do not watch Dr. Phil and I do not condone watching his show because I think it is just a classed up version of the Jerry Springer show (my opinion).

With that said, I was feeling a little sick today and this afternoon all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep...which obviously is impossible with a little one. So instead of retreating to bed I decided to veg on the couch and watch a little mindless TV while James played on the floor beside me. I was going through the guide on our cable when I came to Dr. Phil (who I would normally pass over) when I read the title of the show and got curious.

The title of his show was something to the affect of "Forced to be a Father" which made no sense to me so I clicked it on to understand. After ten minutes of watching I was filled with despair and couldn't watch anymore....which reminded me why I don't like Dr. Phil.

The man on the show was trying to get out of paying child support because his ex-girlfriend gave birth to a child that he did not want. He said that he didn't think he should have to pay child support because he was under the impression that his ex could not have children when they were together and when she became pregnant he told her he didn't want anything to do with the baby. Now he is having to pay every month for a child that he has never even held and he feels like this is an injustice because it is sending him to the poor house.

As I said I could only watch for about ten minutes but in that time two emotions came over me in full force. #1 Anger and #2 sadness.

Anger:
I am angry with the world that thinks it is ok to treat sex like a casual interaction that has no consequences. I wish I could talk some sense into my former self who made mistake after mistake with men before Jesus saved me from myself. I wish I could go back in time and take back every sexual encounter that I had before marrying Ryan and know that my body is his alone. I wish I could explain to the old me that I would one day be haunted by thoughts and images of what I have done. I pray that I can use my life as an example to my kids and teach them to wait until they are married to share this part of themselves.

Sadness:
I feel sad for the woman who is raising a baby on her own without a Daddy, although I am so thankful that she chose to have the baby; I feel sad for the little girl who will grow up knowing that her father doesn't love her nor does he want anything to do with her, and honestly I also feel sad for this man. I am sad that he doesn't see the precious gift he has been given and sad that one day in the future he will be heartbroken when he realizes what he has done.

The world is a crazy place and I feel like every day I am introduced to a new brand of crazy that breaks my heart. I pray for these people and that they will come to know Jesus as their lord and savior and that he will redeem this situation, as only he can.

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name.

On Christ, the solid rock , I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

Unfortunately not everyone who knows me knows the depth of my faith but I can tell you that the words in this song express the feelings in my heart better than my own words ever could.

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness!

I have decided to start this blog of my very own because lately I am filled with a desire to write about what is going on in my head and in my heart and our family blog just doesn't seem like the place for that to happen.

So here the journey begins, no holding back, you better get ready.